....

my tears are clearing up, they're falling less and less but that doesn't mean the pain is gone. i still feel it when i lay down alone at night, wishing he was laying by my side. i miss him more than i thought i could. i wake up, put on a fake smile and go on as if all is fine when really inside of me is a void that can't be filled. i miss hearing him snore in his sleep, i miss his corny jokes, i miss his hugs. i miss the dozens of texts we sent each other every day. my friends tell me to let it go, i deserve better, not to give it another chance. i feel like no one understands how deep the hurt is. do i sit home and cry all day? not really but the things i do to occupy my time only give me a temporary relief. when i'm done doing whatever i do, i still go home to an empty bed. the night we broke up plays over and over in my mind. i don't understand how one minute we're watching a movie and laughing, then the next we're breaking up. i can't forget the look on his face and seeing the tears in his eyes the last time i saw him. his last words to me were "i'm just not good enough". that is not true in the least. he had his imperfections and flaws like everyone else but he was mine. he was the one i decided to be with. i don't know what the future holds but i know eventually the pain will lessen. i know it will always be there but it won't be as bad. this is one situation where i have to be an adult. i don't want to bash him or say anything bad about him. all i will say is that i miss him. i love him and i thank him for all he's done for me.

Train wreck

Like a train on a track,
moving way too fast,
we were destined to crash.

All good things only last but so long...

Moving full speed ahdead,
no destination,
no explanations,
bound by mutual desperation.

The wheels kept moving,
we were standing still,
gravity refused to be defied,
at least by the passengers on this ride.

We had a train wreck.